Market Squared Reviews: Why We Love the Coat

The one thing about Portsmouth you will quickly realize if you haven't lived here long is that there are a lot of bars and restaurants. And by a lot, we mean a metric quadrillion. We've lived here for years and we still haven't been to all of them.

But even in the face of our town's wonderous culinary and sprituous opportunities, everyone needs their out-of-the-way hole-in-the-wall to get away from the day, meet up with friends, and enjoy a pint where "everybody knows your name". In Portsmouth, nothing accomplishes this task better than The Coat of Arms British Pub on Fleet Street.

A typical night at the Coat of Arms.

Referred to by regulars as "The Coat" (or by Jayson's friends as "The Winchester" - if you've ever seen Shawn of The Dead you'll understand), this oasis from the rat-race lovingly refers to itself as "Your Living Room" on its Myspace page.

The entrance to the Coat is tucked away across from the parking garage and Gilly's burger trailer on Fleet, and is very unassuming. You may spot a collection of smokers standing outside, even in the bitter cold. (H- This can be intimidating. Just pretend they're not judging you and you should be able to wade through them just fine.)

One walk up the green-carpeted stairs brings you into a bar that seems much smaller than it actually is at first. Depending on the night, you may be greeted by Mark Adams, the manager and "Lord Regeant of the Known Universe." And if you meet him, you'll believe it. (H- I've never heard this claim, but I suppose it could be true. . . )

The atmosphere of the Coat is a mix between a secret underground location in London and a cozy refuge from reality with a roaring fireplace in the winter (which came in very handy when the Coat was one of the only bars in Portsmouth with power during this December's ice storm), a jukebox that will range from playing pop-of-the-day to old school punk rock depending on the clientel, and the best beer list in all of Portsmouth. (J: it's one of the only places around you can get the English Dry Cider "Strongbow", my favorite).

There's plenty of wise-cracks about bland British food, but the Coat's menu is also one of the best in Portsmouth. It's a comfort food place, with everything from Fish and Chips to Shepherd's Pie to Bangers and Mash. But our favorite there is the Curry Chicken Pita, which is quite possibly the greatest comfort food ever made. They also switch up their specials regularly (the best we've had was the Salmon dinner and the corned beef and cream cheese sandwich. )

The Coat is a bar for locals. There is a variety of clientel, ranging from the few real Brits in po-town, to tried-and-true townies* who took refuge here after the fall of the Elvis Room. You'll also get the occasional wanderer-in, the lone grad student doing work on the Coat's free Wifi, or the extremely regular Dart League (who we think we've seen there having their own tournaments at least two or three times per week, but since they're such a part of the scenery, we don't really notice and so cannot confirm this).

And speaking of Darts, the Coat also has the classically complicated, oddly different billiards game known as Snooker, which is free to play on Monday nights. (If anyone figures this game out, let us know. The rules are on the backs of the menus, but we're still confounded. Why so many red balls? Why?) There's also a pile of games in the corner if you feel like wiling the night away, including trivial pursuit, and if no one has stolen the cards, our favorite addiction, UNO.

The Coat is actually a pretty large place, and there's room on some nights for local music acts. The bar is usually packed on "pint nights", or Tuesdays and Thursday nights, where their variety of drafts are only $2.95 until 9pm. Also, the place fills up quickly on the weekends, so if you want a table, get there relatively early. This includes Sunday nights, when there's team trivia.

We love the Coat because it is Portsmouth. If we don't go there for awhile, we feel like we're neglecting a friend. It's our home away from home, and it will always stay that way.

*We don't claim to be true townies-- both of us grew up AROUND here and not in Portsmouth proper. But you'd be hard pressed to find people who love this town more, so, for the record-- we use and adopt this term with love.